Crank calls

Still in Vancouver Thursday, April 25, 2024

Well, that was foolish. Daring the punishers to keep bringing it on.

FedEx has a tracking number status page, updating you on progress towards delivery. As the morning began, things looked set: the package with my crank was in Vancouver, still expected to be delivered by noon. As I kept refreshing, the status suddenly turned red: it was held up in customs.

Cue the frantic calls to Customer Service. Many interactions with menus, hold music, and representatives with strong accents. It appeared that a duty needed to be paid, another $24 I charged immediately. Nothing changed, another call revealed that they didn’t need the payment after all, they needed a “power of attorney” form, authorizing myself as a shipper or booking agent. No easy task when all you have is an iPad, no printer, no fax. They suggested I take screenshots of the forms, fill them out with my Apple Pencil, and send them to the customs office. This done, the package cleared customs, but had missed the delivery truck, would have to wait until tomorrow. Instead, I could have it sent to the FedEx office by the airport, and pick it up there at the end of the day, although they close at six. If I could get the crank tonight, I could pop it on, leave first thing in the morning, and make it to Bellingham tomorrow.

Every agent did their best to be helpful, but each was picking up the thread anew. I tried to bite back my frustration that this wasn’t handled when Jane dropped off the package yesterday and was charged that exorbitant fee. Chris, the owner of the B&B, also helpfully offered to drive me to and from the FedEx office.

Perhaps you remember the ending of the movie Social Network, where Zuckerberg, having wrested control of Facebook from his friends and become fabulously wealthy, finds himself all alone. He sends a friend request to his ex-girlfriend; the final scene shows him repeatedly refreshing the page, to see if his request has been accepted.

I know the feeling. As the afternoon wore on I kept refreshing the FedEx page, hoping to find it was ready for pick up. No luck. Right at closing hour the most helpful representative, Noreen, called me back and said I should just show up there when it opens at eight tomorrow, and not leave until they give it to me. Hmm.

FedEx. When it absolutely positively has to get there overnight. Their logo is cleverly designed to contain a white arrow, hadn’t noticed it before.

The day wasn’t a total loss. Took a 5 mile walk up that cool bike/pedestrian path to pick up some inner tubes and score some of the best sushi I’ve had in a long while. Long conversations with Jane and sister Anne, who quoted Taylor Swift and told me to shake it off.